Connected - Rough Cut 2

Even though I have filmed vast amounts I still need to complete a reasonable amount.

Still need to film -

-Shots of the happy protagonist getting a text and reading it. Also need a shot of the happy person from the outside opening the bedroom curtains. I will need a close up of the characters expression when reading the text in order to show the audience the emotion of the character.

-I need to add a scene in order to divide up the day because my short film is already approximately eight minutes long. I am going to do this by having shots of both the happy and unhappy person coming downstairs in their work clothes. They would then go on to going out the door and then getting in the car. I am then going to use a fade in order to show the movement of time. After the fade the character pulls back into the drive and enters the house and then goes upstairs in order to change.

-A further scene that I will need to include is of the happy protagonist in the kitchen preparing food, getting the wine ready and laying the table. This scene has to be approximately thirty seconds in order to line up with the unhappy day.

-I need to re-shoot the unhappy protagonist filling up the saucepan. This is because he changes the hand that he is holding it in when taking it from the cupboard.

Good Points

I am very pleased with how my work has progressed from my first rough cut to my second. Even though I have not completed all the films I have still done vast amounts which brings the story together well. I am also very pleased with the variety of shots that I used throughout the entire films. I have used close ups, point of view shots, mid shots, long shots and much more. The sheer range of shots adds to the fast pace of the film which therefore means that the audience should not get bored of watching my short film.

Another good point of my film would be that the morning scene is much more effective than the morning scene of my first rough cut. This is because I have made it clearer of who is the happy person is and who is the unhappy person is because of the way they get dressed. Also in my original rough cut both characters walk straight into the bathroom and get dressed which is very unlikely because not many people keep their clothes in the bathroom.

I have also extended the jogging scene in this version of the film. This is good because it means that the audience can see a clear contrast of the two characters. This therefore means that the film has a greater effect of the first version where both characters complete the same jog but at different speeds.

Bad Points

Even though I am pleased with this version of my short film there are still some aspects that I am not pleased with. The evening scene seems to be reasonably awkward between the two characters. This would be a bad point because it may make the audience uneasy but on the other hand I still need to add audio which may make the scene less awkward.

Another bad point would be that the point of view shot at the end of the film is still very dark which may lead to the audience being a bit confused of what is actually happening. I need to re-shoot this using more lighting such as a lamp in order to ensure the audience knows what they are looking at.

A further bad point would be that the two characters paths do not cross until the very end of the film which may lead to confusion amongst the audience because the two characters are seen in the same location throughout the film. But on the other hand this is the purpose of the film because the audience are meant to believe that they are the same person on different days but in reality are brothers.

Overall I am very pleased with my second rough cut. This is because I have completed most of the filming and edited it well. I am also very pleased with the amount and variety of shots I have used throughout.

Teacher Feedback - Mr Michie - Improvements


-The jogging scene did not make sense because the happy person arrived back at the house before the unhappy person even though the unhappy person did not complete the jog. I need to improve this by having more shots of the happy person running in order to show a greater contrast between the two.
-I need to add additional shots of the unhappy person when he gives in completing the jog. I will need to add a close up in order to show emotion more and will need to have a mid shot of the character walking away which should then turn into a long shot. I need to do this to build on the contrast between the two in order to make it clearer to the audience.
-I need to include a close up on the unhappy character picking up his keys in order to show what he has actually picked up more effectively. This should also enforce the fact the the unhappy person has forgotten his keys.
-I need to ensure that when both the characters go out the door for their jog that the door shuts at the same time. I also need to ensure that the two characters get back from the jog at the same time. I need to do this in order to end each sequence of the film.
-I need to re-film the entire scene where the unhappy character makes noodles. I need to do this because the lighting compared to the happy day is far to light for an evening scene. This therefore means that there would be a lack on continuity.