Connected - Rough Cut 1

This is my first rough cut for my short film. I still need to add vast amounts of filming but by editing the footage I've got it gives me a good idea of what else I need to do and the general layout of the film. From vast amounts of feedback I have found out many good and bad points of my short film.

Good Points
I had many good comments about my rough cut. The sound was very clear which therefore meant that the audience had a good idea of what was happening in the film. There was also a good amount of continuity throughout this version which meant that the footage that I had already completed could easily be followed and understood. A further good point of the film is the cuts I used. The cut from the kitchen shot of the noodles being cooked to the living room shot of the protagonist on the unhappy day watching television was one of the cuts that was brought to my attention as being very effective. This is because it almost surprises the audience because it speeds up the transition between the two shots unlike other cuts that just cut to the character moving away etc.

Bad Points
My rough cut also had quite a few bad points. At the beginning of the film where both the main characters get out of bed and exit the room is very dark. This means that I may have to re-shoot this part of the film using artificial light in order to bright up the room. But on the other hand these shots are of the morning which means it is meant to be dark but I could use the light as a way to attract the audience and use it to symbolise the start of the day. I could do this by having the characters turn on a light when they wake up or I could have the curtains undraw in order to maximise the amount of light in the room. A further bad point would be that the emotions of the characters are not as clear as they could be throughout. For example the unhapy person could be a lot less happy than he is at the moment by using more negative body language and possibily slowing down a bit more to show that he is not bothered but this may not be very effective if the unhappy side had to line up with the happy side. I also need to improve some of the framing in the film where I have cut off the protagonist head. This is very bad framing which means I need to correct this ensuring that the framing is correct.

Overall I am reasonably pleased with my rough cut. This is because it has many positive points to it and I strongly believe by finishing filming and re-shooting some of the scenes the film will become a success.

Teacher Feedback - Mr Michie - Improvements

-The first few scenes of the film when the two characters get up and go to the bathroom are very dark. This means that I may have to re-shoot this scene including some artificial light.
-I need to add more shots of the characters getting dressed in order to show a clearer contrast of the two characters. Also the film lacks in consistency because he changes in the bathroom without taking any clothes into the bathroom.
-The jogging scenes can also be changed. On the happy day the character needs to be shot completing a long jog using quite a few different shots in order to make the happy side more upbeat. On the unhappy day the character needs to be shot attempting the jog and then walking back to the house. I am going to do this in order to make the contrast between the two even clearer.
-More close ups of the two characters would be very beneficial. This is because it would show the emotion of the two more clearer. This can be done when the characters are coming down the stairs.
-The saucepan shot also needs to be re-shot because the character changes the hand the pan is in.
-The noodles scene is also far too long. This can be cut down by having a more variety of shots.
-Towards the end of the scene the point of view shot of the unhappy character is not very clear. This means that I will have to re-shoot this including some artificial light.
-The shot the shot of the happy character getting the milk out of the fridge can be deleted because I have already used this effect when he takes the tea out of the cupboard.